From the Grave

From the grave.....with Easter just passing, we celebrated Jesus' resurrection from the grave.  My pastor started a series entitled, "From The Grave" and it got me thinking on a question he asked in Sunday's sermon....."What is it that you need Jesus to resurrect in your life?" 
Seven years ago the walls came crashing down around me so fast and with such devastation that I was driving my car down the highway and I literally had the thought that I could just drive off the bridge and be done with everything and everyone.  I didn't have any hope that the situation would ever get better.  I thought that I had messed things up so bad that no one could walk me through to a positive outcome.  I had lost my job, my husband and I were losing our home and business, I was separated from my husband and I had lied to my family and they were left feeling betrayed. On top of that I was hit with felony theft charges.  I failed to see that Jesus' resurrecting power was enough to reach in and give life to a dead heart, a dead marriage, a dead life.  I was dead inside, but that day on the highway, I wanted to physically die.  But that isn't the end of the story.  As my Pastor said on Sunday, "It isn't over 'till it's over!"  And even when Jesus was dead, it wasn't over because in three days He rose.  My situation, by man's evaluation, was death - it was over, my marriage, my life, my freedom.  But even when it's over, with Jesus - it isn't over!
My separation from Shane, my husband, was me trying to run.  I think I saw the walls starting to shake and I was trying to run from the impending crash that was about to happen.  Funny thing is...no matter how hard and fast we run, we never seem to outrun the rubble left by our sin or by our bad choices.  It hits us.....sooner or later.  I moved out trying to leave the scene, trying to dodge the bullet and escape the consequences.  I even went as far as going to Memphis to see my family, ironically on Easter weekend, to get them all to believe that a divorce was the only option for me.  To do that I had to paint a very deceptive picture of Shane and flat out lie to my family about my marriage conditions here in Indiana.  But parents know you better than you know yourself....as I drove back from Memphis to Indiana, my very wise parents called Shane to confront him.  Mom and Dad didn't really buy into the lie I tried to sell them.  They found out everything I had said was untrue.  When I got back to Indiana, Shane showed up at my apartment and wanted to talk.  He had heard what I had said to my parents and he had heard rumors that I was being investigated for theft.  That was a long conversation, but one that started us on the road to recovery. 
The investigation was almost a two year process.  But in that two years, Shane stood by my side and never once doubted me.  He let me lean on him for strength, he prayed me through lots of tense and quite frankly, scary moments and he always assured me of his love....even after all I had said and done to hurt him.  Jesus resurrected a heart of forgiveness and compassion in that man of mine. That two year process was better than any marriage counselor.  I know that was the tool Jesus used to resurrect our marriage.  If it wasn't for this difficult time, it would have been easy to pack up and leave.  But because of the investigation, which lead to an arrest, I couldn't leave the state.  And my side of the family is no where near Indiana ...that meant Shane and I were stuck together. 
We did lose our home, our cars, our business - everything.  We moved to a small little rental home and got food from the community food pantry, survived without a cell phone, satellite tv and on one car.  It was bare bones-- pure survival mode.  But Jesus resurrected hope in a few ways.  He had sealed our marriage, forged a new bond between us.  He had given Shane a great new job.  My investigation was still pending, but there was new found strength and perspective.  Jesus started to resurrect relationships between myself and my family.  He truly became "the LIFE" in a dead situation. 
In circumstances that seemed to far gone to rescue, Jesus gave me life.  When He says that "I am the resurrection and the life."  He isn't just saying that He died, rose and now lives.  He is declaring that He has the power and the authority to resurrect, raise up, what ever is dead in our lives.  He not only resurrect it, but give it life!  I have seen it happen in my own life time and time again.  He's resurrected my marriage, my family, my relationships, my personal worth and identity.  He's even resurrected a dream of mine to write and speak His word.  What is it that you need Jesus to resurrect in your life?  Don't try to resurrect whatever is dead in your life on your own.  You'll fall flat.  Let the one who conquered death, and now holds the keys to hell in His hands, breath a resurrecting breath on your heart.