You're at the shoe store and there is the cutest pair of shoes that are just screaming your name. Only problem....the store doesn't have your size. There is a pair in a half size smaller and you think, "I'll get them, even though they don't exactly fit....maybe they'll stretch out, or I can break them in. What difference could a half size make, right?". Boy oh boy, have I had this kind of a conversation with myself.....and had the blisters and pain to pay for it. A half size makes a difference. If the shoe doesn't fit....DON'T WEAR IT! My husband just shakes his head at the thought that I still refuse to equate size with comfort.
Unfortunately, the same principle holds true in our lives. When we try to shove our selves, our talents, our abilities, into a mold that is made for someone else, we will feel the uncomfortable pain of a life unfulfilled. If you weren't created to be an accountant, please, don't shove yourself into a pair of sensible heels and try to walk in that life. If the thought of you being a domestic diva makes you want to boil your apron instead of your eggs, then don't try to be the next Betty Crocker. Corporate office isn't where you belong? Walk away from the rat race and strap on some hiking boots or some running shoes or whatever is truly your passion and purpose.
Now, I am not suggesting that you read this post and confidently walk in, throw your heels at you hubby and declare that you passion is soap operas and chocolate bars. No, I am encouraging you to examine your heart and determine your motivation behind the life you have chosen for yourself. Are you leading a life that is built around the passions, talents and personality God has gifted you with? Or, are you building a life around others' expectations and outside impressions. Choosing to fit your life into a mold formed on society stereo types, family expectations and spousal obligations is about as fun as trying to fit your size 8 foot into a size 7 1/2 shoe. You might be able to do it....you might get your foot in there, but you can't walk in those shoes for very long without feeling cramped and uncomfortable. Living a life that isn't designed for you can be just as disappointing. You might be able to do it for a while, but you won't be thriving....you'll be just surviving. And correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think that is the life Jesus came to give us....a life of survival. In fact, Jesus clearly states in John 10:10 that He came to give us life and give it to us abundantly.
The problem I struggled with when I would walk in these ill-fitting shoes, was the sense of failure. I would work hard to fit into a certain lifestyle or career and when I couldn't keep walking, when I would fall and trip on those shoes that weren't for me, I would heap loads of guilt and condemnation on my already hurting feet. That is a pretty common pattern for all women. We try to compare ourselves, our lives to those around us and we work really hard to fit into that "shoe", but when we realize that we just can't do it, we beat ourselves up and we begin the toxic belief that we aren't good enough or something is wrong with us. Well sister, something is wrong...not with us, but with the choice of shoe!
I thought a life fulfilled would be found in being the "it" mom. I was going to be the mom with all the cool parties, the best crafts, the most patience, the best hugs. I couldn't even carry a pregnancy to term let alone be an actual parent. Strike one. I threw those shoes in the closet and grabbed another pair....this time, conservative, banker heels. I tried the corporate game. Thought I would gain influence and significance from the corner office. Result - I was so stressed and unhappy that I, on a whim, up and quit my job out of frustration. Strike two. I then thought that if I owned my own "shoe store"....that would equate success and significance. Enter entrepreneur shoes....Those shoes cost me about $13,000 and 10 months in prison. VERY EXPENSIVE SHOES! But even the most costly of shoes, still didn't fit.
The shoes that finally fit are the ones that aren't expensive or fancy. They are work boots. Ones that want to work in ministry and aren't worn to make a fashion statement but for changing lives. These are the most comfortable pair of shoes, because the manufacturer made them just for me. God designed this life, for me. He has designed a life for you, too. When you choose to find your fit in life, in the plan and purpose of God, it is like putting on a perfectly fitting pair of comfortable shoes. AAAWWWW....a sigh of peace and serenity.
Remember that verse in Jeremiah that is quoted quite a bit but hardly ever applied in this instance...Jeremiah 29:11. It tells us that God knows the plans He has for us...plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Make sure you don't miss what I believe is the most important part of that verse...."God knows the plans HE HAS for us." It doesn't say that He will work out the plans we have for our lives....it is in the plan that God has for us that we find prosperity and peace and success and significance and whatever else you are looking for in life.
Just like you can't force your foot into a shoe that doesn't fit, you can't force your plans on God. Well, you might be able to for a while, but eventually you will find that those plans leave you feeling flat. (no pun intended). If you are feeling the pain of a life that doesn't quite fit, begin by opening up yourself to some new shoes. Start praying that God would open your heart up to the idea of a life that He has picked for you. Start making a list of the things you believe you are good at, things you enjoy, things that are important to you. I guarantee that if you pray over this list and truly offer up yourself to whatever God might have for you, He will show it to you. He promises us in Amos that He will make His plan known.
Amos 3:7(NIV)
7 Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing
without revealing his plan
to his servants the prophets.
Just be aware...that life might not come in the form of the cutest sandals.....it might come in the form of house slippers, work boots or even sensible, comfortable walking shoes. Just keep an open mind and heart and the perfect fit will come.
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