The month in review

Can you believe it is the end of June...the year is already half gone.  Although time is flying by, this month has been full of growth.

At the beginning of June, I joined an online group of women committed to praying for their husbands for 30 days. It was through this challenge that God chose to work on me, not on Shane, my husband.

Through prayers and retrospection, God taught me that honesty is the best policy.  Now, I know we all know this, but I saw this "golden rule" applied in an area of my heart that I hadn't thought about before.....my feelings.

In prison, I learned about honesty, coming clean when you've done something wrong and the pride that comes from wanting to control and fix everything (which usually meant some sort of dishonesty on my part).  But this past month, I had a chance to be honest about my feelings.  It was tough.  But I shared them....I was honest with Shane about how I was feeling in a particular area of our relationship.  Before, I would have just swallowed those feelings or worse yet, gone around Shane and done whatever I wanted to do to get what I want instead of just being honest and talking things out.  What a great lesson learned.

The other thing I felt this challenge taught me was the value of time spent together doing the everyday, sometimes meaningless, tasks of life. Shane and I have been working together on a few projects around the outside of our house....because of the horrible drought we've had, you can't see our efforts, but we did it nonetheless. Our trips to the hardware store created time for conversation, dreaming and sharing.

A couple months ago, my pastor preached a sermon pertaining to marriage and he made the comment that if wives would see to the agendas of their husband first, they would gain some brownie points and the husband would be more likely to work what we want, as wives, into the agenda.  Now this isn't meant to be a means of manipulation, but rather a respect thing.  As the to-do list gets long and work piles up and there are things that I want to do, it is easy to brush Shane off and make him feel as a bystander in my life.  However, when I choose to include his thoughts and opinions in my decision making, when I decide to work with him instead of against him, when we approach life with a common purpose and goal, it is a happy partnership, not a tug of war match.  And truly, the pastor is right....when Shane feels fulfilled, he is more likely to return the favor. 

Lastly, I learned that anniversaries don't have to be expensive, flashy or require travel.  And that marriage means embracing who you are as a couple, not trying to choke down the expectations of the world. Shane and I spent our anniversary renewing our vows in front of our pastor and his wife, and two witnesses.  It was perfect...it was us. There was no big crowd, no big ceremony, no big fanfare.  Shane and I are pretty casual people.....T-shirt and bluejeans type of folk.  So when we showed up on Wednesday afternoon to celebrate and renew our vows, that is how we were dressed.  The focus was on the words, not the ceremony.  It was pointed at the love and commitment, not the flash and fanfare.

The challenge to pray for your husband was written in a 30 day format by Stormie Omartian in her book, The Power of a Praying Wife.  June doesn't have to be the month in which you do it....I just challenge you to do it.  But be warned....you are more than likely to change before your hubby does. :)