What lies beneath

I have shared in the past that Shane and I have been working on various projects outside....landscaping, clean up, building a new shed...just to name a few things going on in the yard. When we moved in, there was a preexisting flower bed that was edged with large rocks.  The rocks made it difficult to mow around and Shane and I wanted to change the design of the bed, so I dug up the rocks and moved them. I started at one end and worked my way right down the line, digging up rock, after rock. 

The next time I went out with the mower, I wasn't concerned with this hazard because, to my eyes, the rocks were all gone.  Sure enough, as I was coming up on the old bed, I saw a rock I hadn't seen before and was able to just miss it with the blades.

How did I miss that rock?  I have no idea.  When I was done mowing, I went over to check it out and not only had I missed that one rock....there was another one I had missed.  This one was deeper in the ground. 

Those rocks were hiding just out of sight.  All it took was a few weeds growing around them for me to walk right by them. That reminds me of our feelings and our relationships.

I used to think that I was such an easy going gal, never shouting or arguing with my hubby.  I tried to not ruffle any feathers or rock any boats.  I thought that was the way to go about marriage.  But all that laid back attitude got me was an explosion of the emotional kind when I couldn't take it anymore.

You know what I am talking about...when you lose it, break down, freak out, explode all over everyone when you've reached your limit.  It never seems to happen when you are all alone and can afford a breakdown.  It usually happens in the middle of the grocery store over a can of soup being out of stock or you are on your way to see your family for the holidays only to show up red-faced, bitter and your family scared to death at the freak out you just had in the car...doesn't that evoke peace on earth and all that holiday rederrick.

I remember such a break down I had.  It just so happens that it was the holiday season and we were very, very busy.  I was feeling stressed out at work, I was exhausted from all that was on my plate and we were both committed to being a part of our church's holiday program. 

Somehow we forgot about a rehearsal scheduled for the church's program.  Someone called us to see if we were coming.  Of course, we realized we had somehow forgotten the rehearsal and raced out the door to get to the church.  I can remember thinking how disappointed I was to be gone again that night....I just needed a night of nothing to do.  But off to the church we went.  I was driving and my mind was spinning trying to figure out how we had missed this rehearsal. When we got to the church, Shane and I jumped out of the car and headed inside.  I got about half way across the parking lot when I thought I had locked my keys in the car (which happens a lot to me).  I started crying and having a melt down....over the keys being locked in the car. 

Of course, the tears weren't because I locked the keys in the car....that is what triggered the freak out.  I was having a melt down over all the pent up feelings, the tiredness and the over committed schedule I had.  I needed a release....just not necessarily in the church's parking lot.  Shane was looking at me like I had three heads....that were spinning.  He took me inside the church, sat me in an empty room and told me to take a second to gather myself. 

As it turns out, I didn't lock my keys in the car.  In my panic state of mind, I didn't realize they were in my purse all along.  And as I sat in that empty room, the crying was the release I needed.  I felt in control after that.

When we choose to not address our feelings, it is like a bottle of soda which has been shaken up....just the slightest twist and the spewing is gonna happen.  Like the rocks in my yard....what is hiding beneath the surface sometimes gets missed.  We need to find a regular and healthy way to express our feelings -- good, bad, messy and not so messy...all of that emotional stuff.  If we wait...we'll end up spraying it, not saying it!

There are some simple ways to do this....talk it out! With your hubby (or significant other), if you have one....tell him you need to talk and let him know you just need to vent.  That way he doesn't feel like he has to fix anything or fix you....it's just a way to get it off your chest.

If you're with out a hubby, or significant other, you need a girlfriend, girlfriend!  Someone you can share with and you can trust.

The other thing that works WONDERS to help release those emotions...journaling.  I can't speak highly enough about journaling.  However you do it, what ever you choose to use as a journal...it doesn't matter, but do it!  I have kept a journal since before I was a teenager.  It is what helps me keep what little sanity I have!  My entries tend to be more  like written prayers but sometimes it reads like a shopping list. There is no right or wrong way....just put pen to paper.

Take time to recognize what you are feeling.  Don't let your schedule become a way of avoiding how you feel.  You know what I mean..... you get so busy that you don't stand still long enough to even think about what you are feeling.  Introspection is healthy and necessary!  Jesus even did it...he went away and fasted.  He hid from the crowds...He went deeper into the garden.  We see this example over and over in the New Testament.  If Jesus needed time to think and feel...and then talk to His Daddy about how He felt...don't you think we, flawed humans that we are, we need it too!!!

Don't miss what lies beneath.  Stop, listen and express!