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4:8 Principal -- Step 5: Eliminate negative self-talk

If someone walked up to you on the street and verbally expressed that which you think about yourself in your own mind....what would they say to you?

We would never hang around someone who constantly put us down, talked to us like we were garbage or say things that would tear us down. However, we do that when we choose to think negative things about ourselves.  

Stop beating yourself up. Agree right now that you are going to stop beating yourself up. In exchange, speak and think things about yourself that are positive and encourage your highest potential.

Changing the way you communicate with yourself changes your self-concept faster than any other single method. The words you mutter to yourself have the power to encourage or discourage to motivate or deflate, to generate joy or repel it.  The words you use today will create the world you'll experience tomorrow. 

Joy is within you, but it is up to you to release it. Begin to speak only what you seek, as if you are already the person God intends for you to become and are already living the life of your dreams. First and foremost, cut out all self-deprecating remarks. You can control what comes out of your mouth. Start programming your mind by first disciplining your mouth. 

Today's lesson -- Make a conscious decision to catch the negative things you say about yourself today. Statements like, "Of course I would do that, I am so stupid." "Why can't I get anything right?" -- make yourself realize when these comments are made, take note of how it makes you feel and choose to make another kind of statement after that... "Why can't I get anything right? -- I might have messed up on this, but I know how to make things better or I know how to avoid this in the future. I am smart enough to figure it out."

4:8 Principle -- Step 4: Focus on your strengths

When it comes to happiness... nothing can propel you into a joy-filled life than operating in the areas in which you are naturally gifted. When we try to be something we're not, we experience disappointment and frustration.

Emphasize your originality by highlighting your special gifts and talents. No one else is like you-- you were uniquely created, designed and fashioned by God. Because He chose to make you a certain way... we have to believe it was for a certain purpose. And He promises that is in fact the case in His Word.

There is no future in glorifying your weaknesses. Forget about your shortcomings. Stop beating yourself up and think of about God and the fantastic creation He made when He made you!

If you were just like everyone else, what would you have to offer the world? Because God designed you... you have what it takes to do whatever it is He purposed you to do. Instead of comparing yourself with others, which leads to disappointment, choose to become superior in your talent and in your strengths.



Today's lesson:  Answer these questions -- How am I better, strong and wiser than I was yesterday? What is it I can do that others around me can not do as effortlessly? What makes me happy and fulfilled when I am doing it?

Follow these positive statements to lead yourself to a talent, ability or strength that you can confidently operate in. Remember, you have something special to offer the world

4:8 Principle -- Step 3: Forgiving yourself early and often

It is imperative to forgive yourself, without mental reservation. Don't keep score. If you're like me, you have a lot of stupid choices, wrong thoughts, hurtful words, foolish behaviors, and a whole bunch of other self-defeating things you've committed against yourself.

Because you are not perfect, forgiving yourself will be an ongoing process. That's OK... you're not alone. However, don't expect to feel any different instantly. The emotional blessing often lags behind the actual act of forgiveness.

Practicing forgiving yourself regularly -- and mean it sincerely. Acknowledge your mistakes and accept God's forgiveness. If you look in the mirror and are ashamed of your reflection, you're sunk before you start. Instead of suffocating in past sin, bask in the tranquility and joy of spirit that flows through you when you realize that God has already pardoned you. Yesterday is in the history books-- you can't change it. Today though, you are making history.

Here is a truth: When you have setbacks or slip a bit, you aren't any less valuable. You simply have something to learn from the experience. Make sure you learn it. Forget your failures and relive your joys.

Today's task -- Make a list of key areas that you need to forgive yourself for. What baggage are you holding on to? Write it down. Give it as much detail as you can. How does it feel, when did it start, how has it impacted you? Now write down a statement of forgiveness. Release the baggage. Let it go.

4:8 Principle -- Step 2: Forgive others

To have and live a joy filled life, you must forgive those in your life -- past and present. Life is way to short to be negative. We're all human, we all make mistakes and stuff happens. Let's agree to forgive and move on.

Never let an old wound fester due to excessive attention. When you carry around bitterness, hostility and other emotional baggage, you live in the past and cannot possibly realize your potential for joy.

It is impossible to feel terrific about yourself when you are lugging around resentment toward another person. It has a proven physical reaction to your body, emotions and mentality. Because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, forgiveness is a constant thing. No matter what the offense, make forgiveness a key component of your daily life.

Refuse to cling to hard feelings. Don't forget that while you are forgiving others, you may also need to work on forgiving yourself.

This blog post is short for a reason. I want to give you more time to think about today's task.

Today's task --
Stop and think about those who you may need to forgive. Write down their name, what they did, how it made you feel. Lastly, write a statement of forgiveness. Now this not a magical eraser that will make you forget the pain associated with the offense. But it will start the healing process. Revisit this list when you feel you may not have let the hurt go.

4:8 Principle -- Step 1: Recognizing the true source

"Most players are pretty good, but they go to where the puck is. I go to where the puck is going to be." -- Wayne Gretzky

We've been uncovering tools and steps to unleash a more confident, purposeful, joyful self. Here's the good news... regardless of where you are now or where you've been,  you can take your self-concept to new heights by putting into practice any or all of the 8 steps we are going to cover.

Your self-concept is your personal foundation for the future. Every effort you make to fortify it will pay multiple rewards -- and you will be well on your way to living a joy-filled life and having an even greater impact on the world.

Step One -- Recognizing the true source

Legitimate, lasting self-worth can come only from God's love, from knowing and experiencing who you are as a new creation in Christ. See yourself as a child of God. If you keep thinking of yourself the way you used to be, that is exactly what you will continue to be.

Too many people base their self-worth on what others think about them. Beware of making a god of other people's opinion. Wow... let me say that again... Beware of making a god of other people's opinion. This is a whole other series...and here's a secret -- we are going to be going through this topic next.

When you stay focused on God's promises and opinions, you realize you have already been approved. Needing approval from others is a trap that will hold you down. It is essentially saying that someone else's opinion of you is more important than God's. His opinion is best and true. After all, He created you!

Despite your shortcomings, weaknesses and mistakes, God loves you. He knows everything about you, about me and still chooses to love us with an indescribable love.

Today's task: Revisit your list you have made... 5 things I am thankful for, 5 strengths or positive traits, 5 of your best achievements so far.  Now, make a list of 5 people that love you the most. Also, consider what sort of self-image you are building with the flow of words, pictures and images that race through your mind. What is your true opinion of yourself?  How does that compare to God's opinion of you in His Word?

4:8 Principle -- Your self-worth

Your self-worth demonstrates how spiritually fit and ready to do God's work you really are. It also reveals how receptive you are to God's blessings and favor. Self-worth is authentic self-esteem rooted in your uniqueness as a child of God.

You accept that God has great plans for your life. You trust God's word more than the words of other to appraise your value as a person. Self-worth is not based on achievements, but on the significance you place on your life outside of your performance - on your identity as one created and loved by God.

When I was growing up, my dad tried to instill this truth in me. He wanted me to know that God's opinion of me was the only opinion that mattered. What an important truth! When I would get worked up about others and their acceptance of who I am or what I was doing, my dad would tell me to pull out my list and check it.
He would mimic pulling out a list from his back pocket. Checking it over, he would say, "Nope. They aren't on it," and tuck the imaginary list back in his pocket. Although I still struggle with the need for acceptance and gaining positive applause from those around me, I still remember that analogy and find myself reaching for my list.

Let me share with you this idea...
What you do has a great potential to rub off on your children, your spouse and others around you. Especially when it comes to your children, don't you want to exhibit a strong self-worth so they in turn have a strong self-worth?

Nothing will improve your child's performance like an injection of self-worth. Without the stress of posing and pretending, they have more fuel and focus for achieving the goals they find most worthwhile. The same is true for you. The most well-adjusted, mature individuals have a high sense of self-worth, which means they say yes only to things they feel terrific about. They make choices based on what is best for them... not just on what makes others happy.

Today's exercise:
Make a list of your 5 best achievements so far. Add this to the list of your 5 strengths or positive traits. Be sure to place this somewhere you can see it often -- preferable in the morning and before you go to be each night.