Time is ticking away

I trust that your holiday weekend was a good one...filled with family and friends and good food.  It sometimes takes a long weekend for us to find time to spend with the ones we love.  Oh, if only all weekends could be holiday ones!

That's exactly what I want to discuss with you today....finding time.  The subject of time, when discussing relationships, is a touchy topic.  We all want more time.  We want more quality time, free time, down time....nap time!  And although time is crucial to the health of our relationships, I want to offer a different kind of solution to the time conundrum.

First, let me share with you my holiday weekend....

Shane works a great job, however the hours are long and sometimes not very cooperative with life's events.  That means that most holidays, he is working.  However, it just so happens that Memorial Day, Shane was able to schedule himself off for the day.  I was looking forward to the day....a day for just the two of us.

Now, it might have been a better plan had we chosen to just lay in bed and watch movies and eat pizza and just be lazy.  But instead, we decided to take the day as a chance to work on that "honey do" list....which is actually "honey WE" list....I like to help where I can. 

A month or so ago, Shane built this really nice and rather large shed for us. It is big enough to store all Shane's tools and his commercial, industrial grill as well as have room for a work bench and other outside shed stuff.....you know the stuff I'm talking about.  Shane designed the shed with a wide door so that our riding lawnmower can be driven right into the shed and parked. Our mower is pretty big, so you can imagine that the door on the shed is very wide. 

This Memorial Day we headed out to the hardware store early so we could make it back home and do our yard work before it got too hot to be outside. In the process of shopping at the hardward store, we also picked up some groceries because Shane was going make dinner that night.

When we got home, Shane began prepping the food....marinating and seasoning everything.  While he was inside doing that, I decided to go outside and get started on our little landscaping project.  I went out to the shed, swung open the big ol' door and had just walked in when a gust of wind blew by and caused the shed door to slam shut behind me.

Not a big deal, right?  Except the shed was designed with a garden latch which means there is no handle on the inside of the door....which means, if you are keeping up with the story....I was locked inside the shed!

Now, before having my life turned upside down, before spending 10 months in prison, before learning how to deal with the curve balls of life....I would have panicked and pitched a fit and been madder than a hornet.  But I actually started laughing so hard I was crying....it was hilarious.  Leave it to me to get locked in my own shed. 

Well, I knew Shane could never hear me inside the house, so I had to just wait for him to come outside.  I looked around the shed and saw that there was a lot of junk thrown around. There was scraps of lumber as well as other remnants collected from when we built the shed.  We hadn't really cleaned or organized the place. Shane put the finishing touches on the shed and called it a day. 

As I saw the mess and realized I might be in the shed for a while, I decided to make use of the time and started cleaning up.  Now, let me mention that there is a window in the shed so I had some light.  And although the temps were high, it wasn't too hot in there.  Either way, I was determined to make that time count for something....I'm locked in there, might as well do something with my time.

After about 20 minutes or so, Shane came out and I was able to yell out the window and tell him that I was indeed, a damsel in distress and locked up, not by an evil step mother, but by my own negligence.  Now I don't have to tell you that Shane laughed so hard, he almost fell down.  It was funny.  I'm not gonna lie!

The point I want to get across is this.....sometimes we can't design our time the way we want it.  I wanted a meaningful, memorable day with my hubby....not to be locked in the shed for 20 minutes.

Yes, it would be fantastic if everyday went according to plan and we had all the time we ever wanted with our kids or our spouses.  But the fact of the matter is that life gets hectic....either by our own choices or just because stress happens.  And we don't always get to have those long walks on the beach and the Norman Rockwell dinners are few and far between.....unless Norman was a fan of the drive through and dinner being eaten out of a to go bag.

The problem isn't so much that we don't have time.  It's that we don't make use of the time we have.  We let stress become the monster and ruin a car ride where we could have some meaningful conversation with our kids.  We focus on all the things we haven't done with our spouse instead of looking at the hear and now and enjoying the present.  We wait for a long weekend to spend time with our loved ones, when really....a phone call would mean just as much.  We think that family vacations are where memories are made, but I can tell you that as a kid, my memories come from everyday activities I did with my family.
Wives, we wait for birthdays and anniversaries to create special moments with our husbands.....but when Shane is 80 and I am only 76 (because he is four years older than me...hahaha!!) we will still be laughing at me being locked in the shed.

Stop waiting for time to go according to your plans.  Stop demanding that life's moments are made of the stuff that only happens in movies. Drop the expectations.  Let go of the control and just make the most of where you are at....even if you are locked in a shed. 

Got a long commute to work....use those minutes for something meaningful.....like praying.  So many of us think we have no time to spend with God, but when I get in the car...the radio usually goes off and I talk/pray out loud to God (the car next to me at the stop light thinks I am CRAZY --but that's ok).  Think you need to schedule in some quality talk time with your kids....how about making the dinner table (or a to go bag) your conversation starter.  Turn off the TV, the radio, the playstation and how about this .....THE CELL PHONE!!!  And talk!!!  Here are a few conversation starters...

1) what is one really cool thing that happened to you today
2) what was one thing you saw today that was weird or funny
3) what is something you are going to be thankful happened to you today
4) what are you looking forward to tomorrow
....just some suggestions

One thing I used to get frustrated over was Shane's desire for me to go everywhere with him.  He'd run into town for something small and want me to go with him.  Then I was removed from him for 10 months...all of a sudden those little trips were gone and I missed them.  I would have given my right foot for just 10 minutes with him.  So now, when he wants me to go run a quick errand with him, I try to put down the feather duster and be thankful that I can hang out with him.  And you know what...those 10 minutes in the car bring about some of the best conversation and even a few laughs. 

Time isn't an elusive fairytale.  It is there, right infront of us.  We just choose to dismiss it as "not the right time."  What if every time was the right time.  A memory, a laugh, a kind word, a hug, a kiss....those don't need to be scheduled.  Life isn't about the perfect moment....it's about this moment....right now.